Yer a'right our Doc
I don't want any trouble see but I need to find out what the chuffin' 'eck I should do, don't I? So I tried this Off Piste Skiing malarky, didn't I? Tourin' they call it, I'm telling yer, more like friggin' torture if you ask me, yer know what I mean? Anyway, we get to the top and I get me air bag sorted, don't I, that's me in the photo, then this posh old get next to me, Herr friggin' Dresser, he calls himself, starts having a friggin' go, doesn't he?
'We don't actually discharge our air bag unless we are caught in an avalanche' 
'You tellin' me what to do, are yer? If we weren't outside, I'd take you outside, yer know-it-all friggin' pouf.'
Thing is if we waited for the friggin' avalanche to happen, it'd be too late, wouldn't it eh? We'd be six foot under the friggin' snow trying to blow up the friggin' bag, wouldn't we?
I told 'em, didn't I? That's when the pair of 'em jumped me, didn't they? Before you could say 'Ferry Across The Mersey' Herr friggin' Dresser and his poodle, Daniel, dragged me to the friggin' floor and insisted on repacking me friggin' bag and you know what happened next? Don't yer eh? I say 'What if I'm caught in a friggin' avalanche now, can I still blow up the bag?' 
You know what the friggin' poufs said eh, eh?
'I'm afraid not, you've already discharged your gas canister.'
'A'right, a'right that's sound, I go under the snow and no one gives a friggin' toss, just one less Scouser, is that it?'
You put 'em straight our Doc, pair'a shites, safety friggin' first or what? You know what they call me now? Air Bag Tommy, yer know what they're gonna friggin' get eh?, ABT and his friggin' baseball bat, that's what, a'right?
You get it sorted a'right?
ABT

Dear Tommy
Calm down, calm down, I think it's fair to say you have a point but an air bag takes less than three seconds to inflate, so under almost any circumstances you would have time to pull the handle before disaster strikes. Once discharged, you can no longer inflate the bag until you buy a new canister or have it recharged. My first thought when I saw your photo was that some unfortunate accident had occurred resulting in you setting off your air bag whilst standing on the piste. Silly me, of course you engaged the gas charge on purpose, wanting to ensure you had employed every safety measure available, I've never had the pleasure of visiting Liverpool but I have it on good authority that anyone planning to spend time in the city would be well paid to do the same.
On a separate note I'm sorry to hear you didn't enjoy the touring, one or two of your colleagues have been in touch and the only advice I can offer is that you must trust your equipment and your 'skins' in particular, crawling up on your hands and knees must have been very tiring indeed however it's still no excuse for attempting to turn your guide into a kebab by skewering him with your ski pole.

A'right
Dr Ski