Dear Doctor Ski
I have just returned from an arduous week in the Tirol, limited snow and unlimited alcohol lead to a number of near catastrophes, none worse than a very embarrassing brush with the 'Lifties' on the brand new Flexenbahn. Now I want to make one thing quite clear, it was not the fact that I crawled in on hands and knees in the wee small hours most nights that caused my 'Freeride Skis' to jam in the clearly inadequate floor slots of the new lift, these people have no idea when it comes to the requirements of the modern skier. I am sure you will sympathise with yours truly when I tell you that insult was added to injury as I desperately tried to liberate my 'Wide Boys', the Lifty shouted something unintelligible in Tyrolean dialect, grabbed me by the salopettes and dumped me unceremoniously on the deck, chucking my poles,helmet, gloves and rucksack after me. I thought Brexit might have taught these European Bureaucrats  that we Brits aren't prepared to be messed with, surely if they can squander a few million Euro sorting out the 'Brussels Straight Banana' then making the correct size hole in the floor of a gondola should be a piece of cake?
Bruised and battered
The Oracle

Dear Oracle
You do seem to have been in the wars, your enquiry begs the question 'Why were you trying to force something into an unyielding hole in the first place?' A mistake that is easily made, perhaps you underestimated the strength of the local beverages and how this sort of over indulgence can influence one's judgement? 
We've all tried to get something in and failed in the attempt when alcohol is used as the lubricant but please, don't think I am siding with the unruly Lifties or our friends at the European Commission for Ski Slots in Gondolas.
There is a completely unfounded rumour that I am being paid huge undisclosed sums in my consultancy role, advising on the Euroslot, you have my word that as soon as the 'Gravy Train' draws to a halt I will be back on the case.
Bis Balt
Dr Ski