Dear Dr Ski
I seek your advice as to whether or not I have unwittingly been 
involved in an art scam. I recently met up with an older gentleman, a 
hairdressing art dealer from the south west claiming to be a long term 
associate of yourself?  I agreed to give him a lift to St.Anton and we 
duly met up very early a few mornings ago. I found him in a cold car 
park surrounded by large paintings all wrapped in bed quilts!
After loading the car we set off in the direction of Dover.
 
I started to become suspicious when the gentleman let on that he did 
not have a passport with him nor a key to his “apartment” in St.Anton 
so it may be that I would have to travel alone with the paintings and 
he would meet me a few days later after flying over. The words “did 
you pack your car yourself sir?” rang in my head!
 
However I persuaded your friend to come down to Dover and explain his 
situation to the French officials, I was confident that having had 
previous dealings with our froggy friends that they would give him 
sort shift and  in their usual friendly manner and allay my worries. 
Something very strange happened, the official (was he really French) 
was very polite and happily let the unidentified art deal into France 
along with all the paintings?!
 
Thankfully the rest of the journey passed without problem and I helped 
the elderly gentleman plus his paintings up the stairs to his 
apartment. Recent discoveries in Munich and the fact that my fellow 
traveler had what I can only describe as a surname of dubious origin 
leads me to wonder if I have been duped into some awful art scandal 
and soon my name will be spread across the international papers. I 
would hate for my previously unblemished reputation to become tainted.
 
So whilst this is not really a ski related question I seek your help 
knowing your interest and knowledge in Austrian law and rules.
  
Yours hopefully
Fred Scuttle
CEO of the Fred Scuttle Travel Co

Dear Scuttle 

This is indeed a question entirely unrelated to my specialist subject which is,

of course, The Slippery Art. Perhaps my use of the word Art has mislead you?

Having said that I am afraid the name Scuttle has come up on previous 

occasions when discussing clandestine meetings in dodgy car parks, so 

against my better judgement I feel obliged to respond. 

Firstly, let us consider the facts: 

You arrange to meet a so called 'Elderly Art Dealer/Hairdresser' in a deserted 

car park in the early hours, sounds odd? 

He has with him some paintings, the subject of which, you choose to keep to yourself? 

He has a certain amount of bedding material with him, some sort of quilts? 

You persuade him to travel to France with you, despite the fact that he has no 

passport and no where to stay. 

Having smuggled him and the paintings over the Channel you head for a small 

village in the Austrian Alps. 

On your arrival in St Anton, you accompany him to an apartment, taking with you the 

quilts and the pictures?

You claim to have a previously unblemished reputation? Not according to my contacts 

at FIS, the Swiss Federal Intelligence Service? 

All in all I'd say your story has more holes in it than a ski-bum's salopettes in late April, 

the only shred of advice I can offer is that if you and your 'Bum Chum' plan to live 

as a couple in Austria recent EU legislation means there are certain tax advantages 

to be had.

Dr Ski 

PS If you want me to run a cursory eye over those Van Gogh's just give me a shout. DS