Dear Dr Ski
I would like to offer an unreserved apology for insinuating that you would have anything whatsoever to do with unofficial ski tuition in St. Anton am Arlberg, I really do not know what came over me. I have long been a distant admirer of your superb skiing advice and wondered if you could give me a few pointers as I would like to perfect my technique, you should shortly be receiving the 20 video clips and 50 photos of yours truly via e-mail, I await your comments with baited breath.
Yours truly
F. Scuttle
Luxury Airports Transfers and Fabulous 5 star accommodation in St. Anton

Dear Scuttle
I note your apology but you really shouldn't have bothered, when you are internationally famous you come to expect a certain degree of professional jealousy and having slept our way...........having examined you videos and photographs in depth you clearly have a few problems. By the way did you slip in the one of you and the Dutch guys at the S&M party by mistake or are you trying to tell me something? In short our technical team are in unanimous agreement, surgery is the only option worth considering, clearly you have one leg shorter than the other and even with the orthopedic ski boots the knock on effect is unavoidable, you could also ask the specialist to have a look at those nipple rings they must cause havoc when wearing a backpack. Hope that helps, Dr Ski
PS I understand you may have a Mercedes People Carrier for sale? Any reasonable offer?